Everyone can feel lonely at times. It can happen to absolutely anyone, no matter what age, gender, race, sexuality or anything else. It’s a tough thing to handle, but it doesn’t mean that anything is wrong with you. Humans all want to feel connected to one another.

The State of Loneliness

Loneliness is often considered to be an issue of the elderly, but in recent years it’s seen a shift. Since the start of COVID-19, when everyone was told to isolate and not see anyone for a prolonged period of time, loneliness levels across the board rose, but in young people it was a lot worse. Young people rely on their friend networks for a lot of things – in teenagers they’re important in creating a sense of acceptance and belonging, developing compassion, caring and empathy, and help young people form their own identity outside the family. In fact, teen friendships have been linked with wellbeing well into adulthood. Without those key relationships, or the ability to build new ones, then loneliness can become a real problem. Alongside preventing young people from accessing those friendship networks, COVID-19 also stopped a generation of children from being able to form them in the first place.

Now, those aged between 16-29 are over two times as likely to report feeling lonely often or always than the elderly. Young people are expressing high or chronic levels of loneliness, and the peak levels we saw in the pandemic haven’t gone away. This could be because it’s become a more acceptable topic to discuss, but it’s clear that millions of young people are being severely affected by loneliness, and something needs to change.  

The Loss of Relationship Building

One of the key things researchers have discovered is that the loss of relationship building in young people contributes a huge amount to their feelings of loneliness and isolation. It’s a growing trend where young people, usually from 13 up to young adults, are struggling to form and maintain healthy and meaningful relationships. While it’s difficult to pinpoint the exact reason this could be happening, there are a few factors that could be contributing to it.

Digital dependence: Young people tend to spend more and more time on social media, which can sometimes completely replace their in-person relationships. This leads to more superficial interactions with other people, with screens taking the place of genuine conversations and emotional intimacy. The problem is, those curated online personas aren’t real. 

Fear of rejection: The online world, and social media in particular, has created a culture of comparison. This builds up a lot of anxiety in young people around initiating real-life connections because they are so afraid of being rejected for not being the same ‘perfect’ image they can project online.

Poor communication skills: A lack of practice in face-to-face communication skills can also lead to difficulties with building relationships. Active listening, expressing emotions and resolving conflicts are all things that need to be practised face-to-face, and this is something that is almost impossible to replicate online.

Social isolation: Spending significant time alone online can lead to reduced social interaction, which then impacts the ability to build trust and rapport with other people.

The Problem With Loneliness

As well as not being a fun thing to experience, loneliness can have some pretty significant effects on the health and wellbeing of young people. The main ones being:

Mental health issues: Just as with the elderly, isolation and loneliness increases the risk of anxiety, depression and low self-esteem.

Physical health concerns: Social interactions and the lack of them can also have an impact on physical health. It can lead to poor sleep, a weakened immune system and puts young people at a much bigger risk of substance abuse.

Academic performance: As well as, or maybe because of those two factors, young people struggling with loneliness tend to see a dip in their academic performance too. Difficulty concentrating is common, and lower grades than usual for them will be a big indicator that something is wrong.

Social difficulties: One of the more heartbreaking parts of loneliness in young people is that it causes young people to have even more difficulties forming and maintaining health relationships.

A big problem is that you can end up in this kind of loop. Without the ability to build real relationships you can start to develop mental health problems. Those challenges often lead to isolation, which in turn means you struggle even more with those relationships.

Breaking the Cycle

So the big question is, how do you get out of this loop? If you, or a young person you know is struggling with loneliness, what can be done to help and support them in a positive way? One of the first steps should be to encourage building social connections outside of the digital world. Joining in clubs, activities or volunteer work are all good ways to foster new friendships, often without any of the expectations other friendships can include. These spaces often encourage young people to talk openly about their feelings and provide a supportive space. Friends and family members should also encourage them to seek support, either from themselves or mental health practices.

There should also be a big emphasis on implementing digital wellbeing practices. Mindful use of technology, especially when it’s being used for communication, with the priority always being on in-person interactions. If it’s necessary, parents should also consider speaking to the school as they can put interventions in place to address social skills development, bullying prevention and mental health awareness.

On top of all of that, general mental health practices are an important part of any young person’s life and education. At MELP we work closely with schools to provide support, education and a holistic approach to mental health education. We firmly believe that children and young people deserve happiness, mental fitness and the opportunity to thrive. By combining our school programmes with our MELP app, we provide young people with the tools they need to fight isolation and loneliness, allowing them to live their best lives. To find out more, just get in touch with the team today.