Oh yes, it’s that time of year again.
It’s the time of year when we all start thinking about the year ahead, and how we would like to use it. This spawns all sorts of New Year’s Resolutions – promises we make ourselves to improve our lives, commit to doing something we’ve been avoiding, or just to lose a little weight. Every year millions of people will gather on New Year’s Eve to watch fireworks, to celebrate together and ring in the New Year by making these Resolutions, and a lot of them are very, very similar.
But did you know that less than 25% of people actually stay committed to their Resolutions after just 30 days? And of that 25%, only 8% of people accomplish them? This isn’t necessarily because their Resolutions were unachievable, but because they thought that the second they ‘gave up’ that was it – game over.
But, just like a puppy, New Year’s Resolutions aren’t just for Christmas.
Are New Year’s Resolutions Good For Us?
Believe it or not, there’s quite a lot of discussion out there about whether or not New Year’s resolution Resolutions are actually a good thing to do. While they are a fantastic motivator and a chance to ‘clean the slate’, they also have some negatives. For example:
They deal with absolutes: The Resolutions we set ourselves are often very firm, dealing in absolutes. Like committing to going to the gym three times a week, even if you’ve never been before. Absolutes are like that are setting you up for failure – because of course you’re not always going to be able to go the gym three times a week. Over 52 weeks in the year there’s bound to be at least one party, parents’ evening or anniversary you can’t skip. Illnesses and other commitments that keep you from keeping your absolute Resolution terms. Which means you’re going to feel as though you’ve failed.
They heighten the risk of self-loathing: Following on from that, Resolutions open us up to a cycle of self-loathing that can be incredibly damaging to some people. If you don’t achieve your Resolution (which only 8% of people do), then you feel bad and engage in negative self-talk which can damage your self-esteem. It generally just makes people miserable!
They’re all about negativity: Have you ever noticed that most New Year’s Resolutions are grounded in something negative? It’s something you want to change about yourself that you don’t like, which means you’re already being negative to yourself and sparking bad emotions that can linger for a long time.
Honestly, we think that New Year’s resolution Resolutions are a great thing to do, provided you understand the risks and it’s something you want to do, deep down. If you’re making a Resolution just for the sake of it, or because you feel like you should, then just don’t.
How to Make A Good Resolution
Be Realistic: First things first, be realistic. Carefully consider how practical a Resolution is going to be to achieve, and what roadblocks you might face. Try not to set the same Resolution as last year if you didn’t achieve it, and aim for something that will be challenging, but not impossible. If you start out having a good chance of accomplishing your goal, you’re already on the front foot.
Plan the steps: Take your big end goal, and work backwards. Figure out what milestones you’ll need to achieve along the way to get there, and what you need to do to accomplish each milestone. For example, if your goal is to run a marathon when you haven’t run before, your first step might be walking around the block once a day. When that’s comfortable, move it to a power walk, and then a gentle jog. Knowing how you’re going to achieve your goal really is half the battle.
Be flexible: Don’t go into it with an ’all or nothing’ mindset. If you do, you will fail. Not everything will work out exactly as you planned, and life will get in the way. Try to predict some of the challenges you might face, and how you will get around them. Mentally prepare yourself for when things go a bit sideways, and recognise that things may change along the way.
Use reminders: It can be hard to be focused on your plan when there’s so much else going on in life, especially if you’re trying to put a new habit into your routine. Utilise reminders – on your phone, written down, asking people to remind you – whatever method works for you.
Track your progress: You need to know when you’ve achieved a milestone, so make sure you’re keeping track of the journey you’re on and what you’ve achieved. You can keep a journal, noting down when you felt pleased, when you felt like quitting, and what you did to overcome it. Looking back at these entries can serve as a fantastic reminder of how far you’ve come and give you motivation to keep going.
Reward yourself: Even the most committed person needs a boost, and sometimes the best way to do that is with a little reward or treat! Make sure you include these rewards for hitting milestones in your plan.
Acknowledging the Road
Very few things in life are achieved overnight. For the most part, there will be a long and sometimes difficult journey along the way to reaching your goal, and if you’re only focused on the outcome, it’s all too easy to lose sight of the journey. A lot of people fail to achieve their Resolutions because they take that first knock, setback or small failure as the end of the road. They set themselves a Resolution to go to the gym 3 times a week, and after week 2 they don’t go. Now they’ve failed their Resolution and stop trying. This isn’t a great mindset to be in, and means you ignore all the good you’ve done along the way, and could do if you keep it up.
After all, your New Year’s Resolution should be something that will improve your life, which means it’s a deep and meaningful change for you. That takes time. A lot of time in some cases! So give yourself that. Your timeframe is 12 months, and the first months should be treated as a learning period. You will make mistakes and slip up. Rather than beating yourself up over those (very normal) things, reflect on why they happened. What went wrong? Why are you not doing it? Find the thing that’s in the way and adjust your plan around it. Build yourself up to your ultimate goal in small steps instead of in one big leap.
A New Year means new beginnings. A chance to start afresh and begin things on a positive note. But it’s important not to get sucked into the all-or-nothing mindset with them. You have a whole year to achieve your Resolution, not just a few months. Any journey will have lumps and bumps, difficult times and even breaks. What’s important is understanding that it’s a journey, not a sprint, and enjoying the process at every stage.
If you need any help with motivation, or keeping your mind healthy through this difficult period, there is loads on the Melp app to help, simply search 'goals' 'motivation' or look at the coaching section in 'mental fitness tools'.